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if you ever felt that you were deluded about who i actually am then, let me tell you, you don’t know me well enough right from the start, right from day one.
i’ve done nothing wrong and nothing against my conscious. i don’t stab people from the back because i jolly well do not need to. if i want to do anything, i’d get the same effect doing it right in front of everyone else.

i can’t believe that i’m still so affected by this.

i’ve tried to keep my distance. really, but it ain’t possible to avoid given the situation we’re in and the relationship we share, the frequency of us being in the same room.
happy endings ain’t true. they only happen in fairytales.  all these had to happen near the end, and things have to get worse. awkwardness must be around, and reinforced upon.

well, we all still have to move on in life. and i’m glad to move on and away asap. can’t wait for friday/ commencement/ 2010 to come. put all these behind me once and for all.

first time touching a guitar today!!!! my finger hurts >< but it’s quite fun. if i want to buy a guitar(according to my parents, i have to save up and buy it myself), meaning, i need a damn it holiday jobbbbb. *DESPERATE ALRDY*
but but but ):, i’m like the ultra noob in the class, so i don’t think i’d ever get in since so many pl want to join too ): and their like ALOT better than me :’( neither do i think i can make it in hip hop or ISAC. seriously i have ZERO experience in dance, and i’m not exactly a genius, which kills all my chances into getting in any CCA in senior high.

no CCA would want me i bet D:

movieessss tmr. (supposed to save money) either w rx or w class. haven’t decided who to go with and what movie to watch. *actually watched sister’s keeper alrdy but promised rx that would watch with her like, before i watched it myself.*

lalalalala. whatever. i’m tired alrdy >< it’s not even 10 O.O

My throat is killing me. i can’t talk properly and all i feel like doing the whole day is vomitting cause of the disgusting medicine. Gosh. i don’t think i can go for Theory Exam tmr. Though i know that i still have to.

Muni is sooo cute <3 omg. i miss china. No school, and the weather is so much better. Not like disgusting Singapore.
Though i’d still prefer Europe.

Me and Best friend! Don’t tell me that i look like i just woke up ’cause its true (I REALLY JUST WOKE UP) and i know that i have the “i just woke up and still need more sleep look”.

My dog’s stupid. He just knocked his own head.

GOSHHHH. 舞动全城 is freakkking nice. Matthew Ko is hot hot hot hot <3

well, i have to spray my hair black ’cause it’s against the rules to highlight/dye your hair and i completely understand. what i am unhappy about is how other people who so obviously highlighted their hair can get away with it so easily without anything happening to them and i have to put up with such inconveniences everyday though technically, we should be in the same boat.

1st. i think i should point out that theirs are totally NOT natural brown or tan. there are so such kinda tan/natural brown that comes in perfect straight strips in your hair whereas the other are pure black. i think everyone knows that. and i see these people with brown highlights standing/sitting there everyday, and nothing happen to them. though it’s damn freaking obvious, especially under the sun.

why should i put up with such inconveniences everyday when people can get away with it easily? and why can’t the others highlight their hairs too and get away with it as long as our colours are not bright pink/green or anything obvious? apparently, there are people who can. Plus, i thought that we should be treated equally and fairly right?

Animal farm makes so much sense. “Everyone is equal, but some are just more equal than others”. Damn it. no wonder our school made us read that book in sec1. They were trying to tell us to accept that fact ever since we stepped into hell. i knew it.

EOYs results were disappointing. i’m not trying to be mean to others that screwed up even more or got lower and are contented. It’s just not up to my expectations. Okay, i’m not trying t say that i have high and others have low expectations either. it’s just, gosh. so difficult to explain. i just feel that i did not perform to the best of my ability. That’s always the most disappointing thing. and i don’t expect anyone to uds. Apparently, most people cannot try to put themselves into other people’s shoes and view things from their POV and just pass off sacarstic comments w/o caring about how others feel or keep thinking that everyone despises you or are demanding and not easily contented. well, i had enough of all those comments.

Just feel super bitchy today. well. i’ve released all my anger. feel like ponning sch tmr but have to submit the bloody WEP thing.i really have flu larh, it’s not even considered ponning to be exact. plus, haven’t had sufficient rest since i came back from china.

like, suddenly appreciate china so much. they don’t have freaking long and hot flag raisings every damn day.
they only need to wear uniform once a week.
and their schools are not so sick to differentiate even grey and white shoelace though both look totally NOT striking.
people say that china schs have freaking strict rules, tell you, when they hear of ours, they thought that it was disgusting.
okay, one thing that suck is that they canot have earholes. weirdly, not a single one, no idea why.

plus, their life is just about school and home. simple life, like no other bloody shit trouble.

oh, and another point i need to point out, people get pass school life with makeup on daily. oh yeah, since when were makeups allowed in any school?

best of luck for everyone doing O lvls! Esp yingying and nenque <3 yay. love you all to the max.
yup, always there for me to emo and go high and retarded

family dinners are always boring and i end up spamming sms-es. gosh. i should have more free sms-es larh D:

eoy results are disappointing i wanted to cry. after hearing what others had gotten, i wanted to kill myself more than i wanted to cry. few days ago i spent money to wish for good grades at kong zi miao and it obviously did not work and cheated my money ):

blahhh. no mood to update further D: im sorry bitches i lost half your presents >< im stupid. and i know that

going china tmr >< would miss everyone here!

i need more time to think it all through. think about how to react to the situation sensibly and how to make things less awkward when we meet next.

after reading what you actually felt. i felt selfish. really. i’m sorry for being such a horrible friend.

i thought that this could last. apparently, it didn’t

there were times when i was unhappy, which each and everyone of you. but i thought that it was just a normal process. the more you know someone, the more flaws you would discover about this person. but, i still love you’ll on top of all that.

i’m really sorry for running away before hearing what you people had to say. i didn’t want to know, in some sense. i just didn’t want to face it for once. i’m afraid that i’d let people see this side of me that i’ve no intention of showing. i’m afraid that i’d make insensible comments that would make everything worse.

thank you all for being there for me when i needed it. thank you all for caring though it’s technically none of your business. thanks for listenin to what i had to say and offering me tissues and all that. okay, not tissues, toilet paper.

thanks junjie, janson, for helping solve this problem and getting yourself involved in all these shit. thanks peishan, jasmine, for your toilet paper, and making me laugh at your retardedness. thanks everyone who cared.

i guess you’ll are right. it’s through all these things that we know more about people, and its through all these things we truly grow up.

i really didn’t regret going for chalet, though all these shit happened. i’m sorry i was being a bitch on saturday about not going and stuff. i guess i’d have to face it, sooner or later.

even now, i don’t care how others think of you. i still love you. things just couldn’t go back to how it was before. the 1st friday of every month would no longer be bitch lunch day. we can’t meet up regularly and talk about our lives just like charlotte, carrie, miranda and samantha in sex and the city.

oh wells, shall devote all my energy to studying jap (hardly started) and playing farmville!

nothing going into my head now. should just rest well, and do my best tmr.

can’t be bothered to do anything now. the weather is super bad. suffering from horrible flu and feeling horrible the whole day.

and i’m supposed to be studying math and physics, which i haven’t touched cause i thought that i had loads of time.

damn, life’s screwed

seriously, chem and geog tmr. and i’m like, er, still not feeling the exam stress yet? maybe cause have been going out and studying quite alot of chem and geog with 4F girls (best friend, mummy, cow and ken). haven’t touched physics and math completely though.

LA and HCL soooo screwed >,<
have a bad feeling that im going to screw up tmr.

like what the hell process is transforming alkenes to alkanes?
alll i did today was to come out and want my show (with steven ma in it. whoohooo). and yarh, that’s all i did.

and farmville is lagging. no mood to study.